Updates which make me nervous, excited, proud and determined

Finally I had my second scan with the consultant and it was a mixed bag of emotions!!

In my previous scan, the radiographer could not locate my hernia sites. Want to hear something ridiculous? I spent 2 weeks convincing myself I don't have hernias! I made myself honestly believe my bowel was just swollen from eating too much protein!!! As a result, if I'm honest, I pushed harder than I should have with training and did experience some pain in the past two weeks.

Low and behold, I DO of course have hernias! The consultant found the sites straight away. Apparently this is harder to do in women. It was such an interesting process. He was a lovely man and very interested in my bodybuilding journey. I have a very large hernia on the right and a large one on the left; both inguinal. The consultant was very surprised that I was still training he actually said that IF I train legs, I now need to be very careful, because I would be in a lot of trouble if my bowel comes through as I train with the site being so big.

I'll be honest, I was gutted. I'd made this worse for myself by fooling myself into thinking it wasn't really happening! In our community we try to be honest and real. I have struggled a bit mentally the past couple of weeks. I've had to change my programme with my coach again (he needs a pay rise!!) and rather than key hole, it will likely be open surgery, longer out of training and a more prolonged recovery. I had a wobble and some tearful days to be honest. I want to be inspiring and positive - BUT I dd just feel my feelings on it. But I really decided I needed to get focused on what I CAN do when I have to take out. So, I have made a solid plan and I am writing it here so that you can all encourage and support me with it!! There are times that we need to lean on others and this will be mine!

So here's the plan!

1. CONSISTENT STEPS - my steps can vary greatly from 8000 to 16000 per day depending on what I am doing.

   I would like to aim for a more consistent 10-12K steps when I have recovered from immediate surgery. I am going to buy a walking pad and also still go to the gym to use the treadmill to keep myself in that environment.

2. IMPROVED SLEEP HYGIENE - My sleep has improved greatly since the sleep Power Up. But it has by NO means entered optimal levels! So i am aiming for 8 HOURS every night. I would like to develop a better evening routine to support this.

3. NUTRITION FOOD PLAN - I am macro based. But my diet will need to change. This is to be discussed with my coach based on where I am at when I am called for surgery. I actually will probably have quite a high fat diet as this will help with tissue repair. I haven't done a meal plan before, so I want to use this time to dial in and get used to eating what I am TOLD to eat!

What I want you to take from this blog is this; not all weeks (or months) are easy. It's not all plain sailing. But that is okay. It's okay to be open about that and to feel your emotions. But I am trying not to sit in it for too long. Each part of my plan WILL help me to progress. It will help my recovery and it will help me when I start prep as these are three things that I will need to nail. I also feel really proud of the progress that I still have managed to make during this time. I need to remember that.

So let's just wait and see when it will be. But I am definitely more mentally ready for it now!!